In which I have a horrible idea for a sitcom

In the process of thinking through two other blogposts (Forthcoming! Maybe!) I randomly thought about the two seemingly opposed identities: being a single female, and identifying as a Complementarian. (This, for the record, is functionally where I fall for Biblical reasons, though I’d much rather be Egalitarian.) At face value, these cannot coexist; complementarians look for headship where singleness has none.

Did I then follow through on the ramifications of this? Of course not. That would be entirely out of character. Instead, I came up with the idea for a horrible, horrible sitcom:

Single Complementarian Female, airing this October 19 instead of CommunitySingle Complementarian Female

The premise:

Ruth is a twenty-something single complementarian female living with her best friend Esther, a single Egalitarian female, in Oklahoma City1. Join them in their wacky hijinks as they learn valuable lessons each week about faith, hope, and love.

The characters:

Ruth Swift2 (uncast): A demure 20-something, Ruth is the protagonist of the series. Something of a romantic, she is looking for The One with starry eyes. Spends most of season 1 crushing on PJ.

Esther King3 (uncast): Ruth’s best friend and roommate, Esther is a bubbly egalitarian whose headstrong ways gets in lots of scrapes, especially with the menfolk.

Paul John “PJ” Fraulo4 (played by Austen O’Brien, former teenage heartthrob5 Josh in Promised Land): Single 20-something male friend of Ruth and Esther’s. Spends most of season 1 crushing wildly on Esther, but in a surprising plot twist6 asks Ruth out in the season finale. BONUS: They discover they’re horribly incompatible at the beginning of Season 2.

Jim Harris7 (played by Kirk Cameron): The happily-married Singles Pastor where Ruth, Esther, and PJ go to church.

Ms. Priscilla (played by Yvette Nicole Brown8): The owner of the local Christian bookshop/cafe who periodically dispenses sage advice to Ruth, Esther, and PJ.

Recurring Guest Star:

Jude Swift9 (played by Chuck Norris10): Ruth’s recently widowed father, a rancher. At some point he will try courting Ms. Priscilla, only to discover some sordid secret, like that she’s pentecostal or something.

Episode Ideas:

  • Pilot: Ruth responds to a roommate ad on Craigslist, only to discover it was posted by Esther, her best friend in Middle School. Esther introduces her to PJ; Ruth falls in love at first sight. Jim and Ms. Priscilla pop in for some warm fuzzy feelings and good laughs.
  • Tensions escalate when Esther keeps bringing guys over for (literally) a cup of coffee. Meanwhile, PJ is set up on two blind dates on the same night by Jim and Ms. Priscilla. (They turn out to be the same girl.)
  • PJ asks Ruth for tips to set up the perfect date. It turns out he plans to ask out Esther11…then loses the nerve in the end anyway. Meanwhile, Jim and Ms. Priscilla butt heads over plans for a singles event.
  • Ruth wants PJ to meet her father, but can’t figure out how to invite him over without sounding forward.
  • Ruth and Esther butt heads over parenting styles when they babysit Jim’s four adorable children. Meanwhile, PJ helps Ms. Priscilla in the cafe, to disastrous results12.

So, there’s my idea for the worst sitcom ever. What do you think? What other awesomely awful ideas am I missing? And what Christian TV network should I push it to first?

Photo credits: Josef Seiber, KIWIphotos (twice!), and the Internets.

1. Third most Christian city in the U.S., according to the Huffington Post.

2. “Boaz” translates to Swift.

3. Xerxes translates to Monarch. I figured King would be the Americanized version.

4. Fraulo is “Bachelor” in Esperanto, according to Google Translate.

5. I admit nothing!

6. Not really.

7. Named after Jim Elliot, first husband of Elisabeth Elliot, author of Passion and Purity, and Joshua Harris, author of I Kissed Dating Goodbye.

8. Because she’s awesome.

9. Judah was Boaz’ ancestor.

10. Do I really need a reason?

11. A surprise twist on the story of Mordecai and Haman in the book of Esther!

12. You know, because he’s a man. In a kitchen. Where women belong.

4 Comments on “In which I have a horrible idea for a sitcom

  1. I didn’t think it could get much more amusing than hearing you describe this on our walk this afternoon, then I saw Chuck Norris.

  2. I think I lost it at the Pentecostal bit. And I think that Ms. Priscilla would definitely be Pentecostal.

    You forgot the episode where the incredibly awkward, not-so-cute guy in the singles’ group at church calls Ruth’s dad to set up a meeting with him at Ms. Priscilla’s cafe where he asks if he can court Ruth…whom he has never spoken to. Bonus points if she finally ends up with him three seasons later after they’ve both matured. (Could a show like this last three seasons? Isn’t it supposed to be “Hi to I Do” in a year, according to Boundless?)

    Also, Esther discovers a listserv about headcovering and wonders if her egalitarian ways really are best, after all. (This episode brought to you by a couple months of my life following such a listserv.)

  3. But you can’t put Chuck Norris in a TV show without him getting to kick someone’s butt! (Seriously, I was totally expecting violent hijinks or the comedic threat thereof regarding the dating/courtship of his daughter.)