Why I love being single

Over the past few weeks I’ve really been contemplating singleness – my role as a single woman, and the inherent problems and blessings of marriage. Specifically, 1 Corinthians 7:32-35 keeps coming to mind – that married people are concerned with the things of this world. Lately I’ve come to realize how true that is. Not that I am by default an example of a person concerned only with the things of the Lord, of course; but there are a ton of odd things that married people have to consider that don’t even cross my mind.

With that in mind, I’ve decided to generate a list of some of the things I appreciate about being single right now. This is not to say I never want to get married. If I ever do, I sincerely hope I can look back at this list and say why I’m glad these things are no longer true. But to any of you out there who’s single and struggling with that fact (including my future self, most likely), if this list helps you cope at all, then my perpetual bachelorhood will not have been a waste.

  1. I don’t have to worry about anybody’s allergies or general preferences. Cooking-wise, as someone who loves almost all kinds of food, I’m only limited by what’s already in my fridge. So if I feel like making tofu one week or buying 2 lbs. of Swiss chard for a Greek-style pie, nobody else will complain. Similarly, when I eventually get a dog (assuming I’m still single then) I can get the breed I want. I don’t have to worry if my husband is allergic…or doesn’t even like dogs.
  2. I can work late. Most of my coworkers have to leave work by a certain time to make sure they’re home to help out with the kids (or to simply spend time with their spouses), but if I’m in the middle of something I can stay as late as I need.
  3. I can stay up as late as I want with no concerns. Some friends and I regularly get together every other Friday for gaming; if we’re running past midnight one week, one of the guys will get a call from his wife (who chose not to participate), making sure he’s not dead in a ditch somewhere and is on his way home soon. While the concern is enviable, so is the position of being able to stay out as late as I want.
  4. I’m not interrupted at home. I’d regularly interrupt Mom while she was in the middle of her daily devotions as a kid; as an adult maintaining my own devotional life, I’m very grateful that I don’t have to deal with that. My only interruptions are from e-mails and phone calls.
  5. I don’t have to hide anything. This is one of those weird things I just don’t think about. Two coworkers today were talking about hiding their browser history for positive reasons – for example, buying gifts for their wives. One of them actually makes sure to time Amazon purchases just after paying the last credit card bill so his wife won’t see and question the expense until the end of the month (when, hopefully, he’s already given her the gift). That never even crossed my radar as something married people would have to consider.
  6. I get to grow in faith in a unique way. Marriage implies having someone to specifically turn to when things go wrong. We singles can turn to our friends, yes, but in a lot of ways we’re reliant first on God to put the correct people for any given situation in our path (say, to take care of my car). It’s like the team building exercise of falling backward and trusting your partner to catch you; my only partner is invisible. A friend of mine who spent some time in Albania once told me that over there miracles of healing are a lot more common because they have less money and it’s literally a choice between prayer and a doctor they can’t afford. Singleness is a very little bit like that.

So what are some things you like about where you’re at right now?

1 Comment on “Why I love being single

  1. Some things I like about being single (having spent some time mulling over your list and my own mental list):

    1. The freedom to serve others without having to work around anyone else’s plans. During the last two weeks, I’ve given rides to three different friends who either had car troubles or health issues that prohibited them from driving. I rode along with one of these friends to go car shopping on multiple occasions. In all of these instances, I didn’t have to check with a husband to see if the car was needed somewhere else or worry about the time or gas money involved (beyond my own needs).

    2. The lack of drama. Okay, that’s more of a dating issue than a marriage one (I would hope), but watching some of my friends who are in dating relationships reminds me that as good as it can be to have that person who you love and love to do things with, it brings out a lot of messiness and problems and forces you to be introspective about all the things that are wrong with you. Some of that’s good, and it can help you grow. Some of it, especially as evidenced by real-life examples…just isn’t good.

    3. I can make career decisions based on just one person–me. This is one that I think the trade-off of a spouse would make up for, but the freedom to choose a job that suits me well and will help me later on is a nice thing right now. Hopefully, I’m making career decisions these days that will help me build up my qualifications, so that if later on, I’m geographically or otherwise constrained by someone else’s career needs, I’ll have the skills that will still help me find a job to contribute to the family.