My Life in Symbolism: New Growth (Part 4)
Should I apologize for my utter failure to update this blog? I should probably apologize. The truth is, since I spend all day writing for websites, I have little desire to continue doing so in my free time.
In fact, the main reason I finally broke down to write this post is because it’s 4:00 AM, I have the kind of insomnia that’s curable only by sleeping aids or by solving my problems, and I don’t have my work laptop here to work on the new website.
(“Problem solving” insomnia is my most frequent form. I’ll wake up after 3-4 hours with a problem cycling through my head and be unable to sleep until it is solved. Given that we launch our new website on Monday, I don’t expect to sleep much between then and now.)
My last blog post was posted in August, but set in June. Since then my life has felt like a series of catastrophes.
- My deadlines have been increasing deadlines at work. See also: new website launch scheduled for Monday.
- My car has been in and out of the repair shop all summer (I’m taking it in again on Friday, in fact). This culminated in a dead battery on Thursday night, followed immediately by a flat tire on Friday (a slow leak, fortunately). I think I’ll have put in around $1500 in repairs all told.
- Two good friends have moved out of state.
- My internet went out again for 3 weeks (not the ISP’s fault; just took me too much time to fix).
In all honesty, none of these things would have been unbearable had they been spread out. But when there’s a new crisis every week for three months straight, it gets to be a bit wearing.
Meanwhile, there were roses.
The thing about the pruning is this: it did indeed lead to rather beautiful roses all summer long. I think the new growth started within a day or two, in fact. They finally died, though, somewhere between mid-August and September. No growth of any sort; just dead buds.
And I thought: this is it for the season.
Between that time and now my car had its second batch of issues (the first batch took 3 mechanics to fix, mind). And the second of the two friends moved. And my modem had issues. And the deadlines increased.
I began to regret choosing roses as the symbol for my apartment.
Except: there is one thing still. And that is this: There is always new growth.
I walked outside about five minutes ago and took this photo. It’s not very good, but it shows something I noticed…yesterday, I think, or the day before.
It is Fall. The buds may not survive a cold snap. Or maintenance may come through and hack away again. Or something else unimaginable may happen to halt their growth.
But there is growth, and there will be growth again. And for now, this is enough.