The Choking Weed
In 2020, I was pretty diligent about keeping a prayer journal. Basically, I would pray through ACTS: Adoration, or God, this is why you’re awesome; Confession, or God, here’s how specifically I messed up today; Thanksgiving, or God, here’s how I’ve seen you at work; and Supplication, or God, here’s where I’d like to see you work. It’s generally a good system for me (though I fell off that bandwagon earlier this year). Sometimes, though, I just can’t pray that way for whatever reason, so I just write out what I’m thinking. Sometimes it even comes out in sonnet form.
No particular reason for publishing this one today, for the record. In fact, even I don’t remember the context anymore. I just felt like publishing one out of my prayer journal. Bitterness does tend to be a recurring theme in my life, though.
Caveat: I read this out loud on my Twitch stream (yes, I’m experimenting with Twitch; come join me) and it felt kind of repetitive. I did some on-the-fly editing but otherwise I’m okay with that; I wrote it just before falling asleep for the night, so it’s amazing it’s complete at all.
The Choking Weed
Originally written July 6, 2020
O Lord, a little growth of bitterness
Is rooted, like a weed, within my soul.
It festers there, forming a deep abcess,
Infecting every portion of my whole
Self with its rotten, putrid flower buds,
And chokes the flowers from the healthy trees,
And leaves my soul like rotten, swampy mud,
Attracting only rodents, flies, and fleas.
I need a master gardener to come
And uproot all these bitter, choking weeds
And let the soil dry out in the warm sun,
And instead plant there pure and healthy seeds.
O Lord, amidst this agony and strife,
Please come and tend the garden of my life.