I don’t remember the context of this. It was second-semester-of-grad-school stress for sure, and probably prompted by a brief stretch of doing a poem a day.
Regardless of the original situation, it’s still true. I may not be led into many circumstances that scare me (debt, imposter syndrome, whatever), but I still hate doing things I don’t want to do; I still hate change when it disturbs my comfort.
The one real difference is that now, at least, I have the benefit of looking back at some of those troubled times and catching a glimpse of what God was doing in them. Not a full picture, of course. But sometimes just a glimpse of God’s plan is enough.
The Rough Road
Originally written February 26, 2007. #114.
You know, God, all I wanted was to live
A quiet, simple life according to
Your precepts—learn to love and to forgive,
And walk in humble justice my life through.
But sometimes, You divinely see it fit
To lead me somewhere that I feared to tread
And in Your grace these trials You’d permit,
And take me to the places I most dread—
And how do I respond? Not gracefully,
Not with a pleasant word and faithful heart,
But with a rage that’s terrible to see,
Not heeding the instructions You impart.
Oh Lord, give me the strength now to endure—
To listen patiently, and remain pure.