At the end of February, I dared believe that I was exiting a “winter” season, full of stress and chaos, and was about to re-enter a period of growth and peace. The last few weeks have proven otherwise.
My own natural inclination in crazy times is to hide away—to hole up and play video games for hours on end. But while solitude is a good, healthy, and natural part of the rest cycle, in abundance too much isolation can lead to unhealthy thought patterns and secrecy and lies. Even when it doesn’t, too much solitude means disengagement from our calling to community.
I wrote today’s sonnet in November, in response to the prompt “Disaster” for the Poem a Day challenge, and also when a lot of things felt like they were spinning out of control. It’s still true in my own chaos today, and it will be a lifelong struggle. But it’s an important one.
An Introvert’s Prayer
Originally written November 12, 2018
How did you do it, Lord? Please tell me how
You navigated crowds, all pressing in,
Demanding favors that must happen NOW,
Insisting loudly—yet you did not sin.
How were you patient and compassionate?
How did you block the noise of Pharisees?
Yes, you are God, but you were incarnate,
And prone to hanger, sleeplessness, disease—
All things that leave me stressed and full of rage,
With little time to recharge, all alone,
From duties that compound with time and age:
A living, breathing, stressed disaster zone.
How did you do it, Lord? I’m broken, spent—
Please teach me what it means to be content.