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Bad Graphic Designer Pick-Up Lines

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It’s all the graphic designer’s fault, really. We were talking about an adjustment to a banner ad, increasing the spacing between some chunks of content. “Add breathing room,” she said, “but not an ocean of white space.”

Me being me, I had one immediate thought. “That reads like very bad poetry. ‘Baby, I want to drown in the ocean of your white space.'”

It only went downhill from there.

What follows is a collection of horrible, horrible graphic design-based pickup lines (really, more like cheesy romance lines), generated by both me and the graphic designer. I make no apologies for any of them.

Also, as a note to non-designers, I’d say this blog post would explain things…but really, no, nothing could possibly do that. Also, check out this blog post for much better bad graphic designer pickup lines.

  • I want to live life with you to the fullest resolution (300 dpi).
  • Baby, you must be a printer’s proof, because everyone else here is just a copy of you.
  • Before you came along, I was just Lipsum. With you, I’d be real content.
  • Before you were mine, everything was grayscale, but now I see the world in CMYK.
  • My heart was still like a .jpg. When you entered the room, it was as animated as a .gif. I want everything to be as transparent as a .png between us.
  • If you left me, I would be cropped and have bleeds for you.
  • If our love continues on this vector, it will only grow without loss of quality or clarity.
  • Are you a serif font, or are you just happy to see me?
  • Our love is Avant Garde.
  • I just want to get the Helvetica out of here and run away with you.
  • Our love can cross the Univers.
  • They will etch our love in Papyrus.
  • We can weather anything, because our love is Copperplated.
  • Futura generations will speak of our romance.

And finally, a poem based off the most basic principles of graphic design (text version below):

walk-in-the-PARC

Let’s take a walk in the PARC;
Hand in hand, in close Proximity,
Our hearts Aligned,
Repeating our love
(Repeating our love)
Contrasting the dark days behind
With the brighter ones ahead.

If you have any more poems/sweet nothings/pickup lines, feel free to add them in the comments.